I am in the mood to preach again.
Looking at this 10+ years old photo of the most important things in my life.
The kids, the books, the bikes, & the clays.
This brings me to my diatribe based on biased observation.
I genuinely care what people think, I suppose I always have & will.
I want the kids to be proud of me, hopefully a book will provide an answer, the bikes are a selfish life long impulse, & the sculptures are an urge.
If I love you, like you, admire you, or appreciate you in any way, I want you to recognized me.
Even if I completely disagree with someone I like, on any subject, I still enjoy them.
What my question is to anyone reading this self indulgent rant, is why do my rock star friends & my awkward kid's friends claim;
"I don't care what other people think!"
I don't buy it.
The guy who gets up, pulls the sweater that his grandma bought him 4 birthdays ago, because it is the top one on the pile his mom put in his closet for him, does this in the dark, so it is completely random if it matches his pants & goes to a job that required the least amount of his effort to obtain. That ruler doesn't care what people think.
Me, in my stinky unwashed old Levis, beat up Wescos or my perfectly pressed small tag Dickies & pleated Pendleton, my Langlitz jacket & hand made hat, my goatee & slicked back hair... you get it, I care.
You, with your Stacey Adams, wife beater & tattoos, you care.
You, with your long hair, died hair or shaved head, you care.
So why do I hear & read so many people say;
"If I really cared about what other people think, I wouldn't have pursued Rock & Roll music- I'd still be pushing a mop."
In the motorcycle community, I hear something like, "I wear leather, have tattoos, long hair & ride a loud bike, because I don't care what people think.
Skaters, Surfers, Bikers, Punks, Vatos, Rockers, Emos, Rock-a-billies, Car Builders & perhaps most of all, Artists all claim not to care what other's think, yet I honestly believe it is quite the opposite.
All these super neat & interesting people are just that, because they care, maybe not what their mom thinks, but most certainly, what their peers think.
I have been thinking about this claim for decades.
There was a girl in high school who I had a terrible crush on.
She woke up several hours before school each day & got into full Siouxsie Sioux attire... I loved her for it, but in Psychology class when she said "I dress this way because I don't care what people think", I disagreed, in front of everybody, and we went from being friends to acquaintances.
I get what happened then... never was clever with the ladies, but I wonder if she still thinks that in high school she really didn't care what people thought.
Are my adult friends & my kid's friends who claim, not to care, really that punk rock/hardcore/anti-social & it is just insecure me who dwells on this trite stuff, or do nonconformists just conform to nonconformity?
SAYS Jeff Decker
AND I THINK I AGREE